Ever met someone who just makes you feel good about yourself within seconds? They seem effortlessly likable, and conversations with them feel natural and engaging. What if I told you there’s a simple 5-second trick that can help you achieve the same effect? The great hack to influence people.
This isn’t about being manipulative or fake. It’s about genuinely making others feel valued, seen, and heard—a principle that Dale Carnegie emphasized in How to Win Friends and Influence People: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
The 5-Second Hack to influence people: Lead with a Compliment + Follow with a Question
This two-part formula works like magic:
- Compliment them sincerely – This makes people feel good instantly. A genuine compliment can be about their energy, their ideas, or something specific they’ve done.
- Follow up with a question – This keeps the conversation going and makes them feel important, showing that you’re not just making small talk but are genuinely interested in them.
Why Does This Work?
- Instant positivity: Compliments create a positive emotional connection within seconds.
- People love to talk about themselves: Studies show that talking about oneself activates the brain’s reward system.
- It creates engagement: The conversation shifts from surface-level to meaningful, naturally deepening rapport.
Real-Life Examples
Example 1: Networking Event
Instead of the usual “So, what do you do?” approach, try:
You: “You have such a great presence. I can tell you’re really passionate about your work! What’s the most exciting part of your job?”
Them: “Oh wow, thanks! I love that I get to solve complex problems…”
(And now, you’re in an engaging conversation.)
Example 2: Social Gatherings
At a party, rather than saying “Hey, nice to meet you” and leaving it at that, go with:
You: “I love your energy! You seem like someone who always has great stories. What’s been the highlight of your week?”
Them: “Haha, thank you! Actually, I just got back from an amazing trip to the mountains…”
The Key? Authenticity
People can sense when a compliment is forced. The trick is to genuinely appreciate something about the person. If you truly listen, you’ll always find something to admire.
Try It Today!
The next time you meet someone new or reconnect with an old friend, use the 5-second hack:
- Give a sincere compliment.
- Follow it up with a meaningful question.
You’ll be amazed at how quickly the conversation flows and how effortlessly people warm up to you. After all, as Carnegie said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Ankit Joshi
